As I went out, closing the door behind me, I was a little uneasy; I mean, it’s a strange man and we’re all alone—oh, man, are we alone!—and I didn’t feel real safe right now. I locked the door of my bedroom, and it took me a long while to fall asleep.But I did, and for the first time since I’ve been here I slept well. I realized as I drifted off that I hadn’t thought about that damn court case in, well, hours. Maybe I needed something like Hugo to take my mind off it.I had to show him the shower next morning, but he figured it out pretty quick. I took the bandage off him before, and tried to let him know I’d put it back on when he was done. He came out in the same pants, but without his vest.After I re-bandaged him I gave him a pair of my dad’s old slacks and a shirt. I didn’t have any skivvies, but I didn’t think he’d been wearing any, either; he’d have to go commando. He understood the buttons OK, but I had to show him the zipper.He started to change right there, but I stopped him. The door was partially opened and I overheard them speaking and the nurse said to the doctor, "I can't believe I got to see Tom - - - - - - - in the nude." I never knew from where she would have known me. College? High School? Baseball? But I froze in partial terror, realizing she knew me from some circumstance in the "real world" and now had seen me entirely nude. After she said, "I can't believe I got to see Tom - - - - - - - in the nude," the doctor responded to her with, "Well . . . what there was to see of him." I couldn't believe she said that. The doctor had used a moment of girl to girl unprofessionalism to size me up and put me in a humiliating light in commenting about my size to the nurse. There was a pause and the nurse gave a slight laugh and said, "Yeah. He isn't exactly hung." I died on the spot. And as I stood there the doctor responded to the nurse, "Not . . . at . . . all." The nurse laughed again. Oh, fuck. It was a total humiliation, and I got out of there and.
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